nobody knows what i have gone through like i do; but it’s alright cause i like it this way. when you know nothing at all

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Love is such a strong word. When we were just little kids, we always thought love was just about hugs, kisses, and happiness. But as we grow, we learn that it`s not just about happiness, it`s also about learning to accept rejections, tears, and heartbreaks. That`s where I come to help you up, wipe those tears away, put your heart back to one when you`re hurt from love. And when I say I love you, you`d better believe that I mean that with every fiber of my being.

Sometimes I wish I had a place of my own that could serve as a sanctuary to me. A place apart from home where I could go whenever I was unhappy and just felt like being all by myself. Where I could cry to my heart’s content just like how only half a day ago I was laughing away and having a good time.

5 Minutes/The entire night

“I don’t care if it’s 5 minutes or the whole night. I just want to see you”

Never thought that way of me ever, correct? Never thought that that could be the reason your dad was wondering “why’s your girlfriend here, again? Doesn’t she have to attend school?” Well you know what? Ever since I first went out with you, my grades have slipped. My relationship with my family became strained, and it seems everything I do is never right nor appreciated.

Its as though You’re the reason why I…

…dreaded waking up early in the morning to go to school

and if I could crash at your house at the expense of waking up at the same time or even earlier,

I definitely wouldn’t mind how early it was

…never looked forward to walking alone, to that same path in the morning to my classes

…thought entering the class and receiving problems to solve was a complete and utter waste of time that I could be spending with you

…felt sitting amongst my wonderful friends could never brighten my day up like you did with just a simple gesture,

like a hug & a kiss, or better yet,

just being cuddling me up and making me feel so at ease under the warmth of your  comforter.

…made do with being in the same compound with you and plenty of other people believing that you loved me, and you were thinking of us every moment

…though I knew of how promiscuous you could be and had been, I would let you take control of almost anything

…had never expressed my unhappiness about your assistant always being around even when she wasn’t needed

…dumbly agreed to wait for you whilst you flew off to complete your studies, leaving me behind grasping on to nothing at all but your promise of a return

I could just go on and on. But for what now so what if you knew that it’s because of you that I have lied to so many people. So what if you knew that its because I was so head over heels in love with a jerk like you that I would leave class during the break and travel all the way to find you, that I would lie that my friend was utterly heartbroken so that I could spend that short short time out of my home with you? I feel that I wasted so much on you. But yet up till now, I’m still so mad with myself, so mad that I cannot let go.

“A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

I’m okay. </3

Then: You know. Now: You knew.

I lost count a long time ago.